Respect

Something we owe to everyone we work with.

The word “respect” has two very different meanings. The one I’m referring to in this book is a “regard for the feelings, wishes, rights, or traditions of others.” This kind of respect is something we owe to everyone; it is not something that needs to be “earned.”   We don’t have to respect a person’s opinion on a particular topic–we can disagree, vehemently. We don’t have to respect a particular action a person took–we can still disapprove and hold them accountable. But we do have to respect that person as a human being if we are to retain our own humanity. The other meaning is admiration for someone’s “abilities, qualities, or achievements.” That kind of respect does need to be earned–but it’s not what this book is about.  

All too often our biases cause us to expect conformity without even realizing what we are doing. And then when you layer management systems on top of that, that expectation gets baked into who we hire, promote, fire, and unconscious bias gives way to discrimination. 

When we are at our worst we seek to establish dominance or to bully others at work, rather than seeking to collaborate with them. And again when you layer management systems and power on top of those instincts, things go from bad to worse. Bullying gives way to harassment and physical violations and violence.

These are universal human failings. “Progressive” organizations drift towards coercion and conformity as surely as do “conservative” ones. But these problems are not inevitable. The solution is to consciously design norms and systems that keep us moving towards respect and collaboration. Fighting the gravitational pull towards conformity and coercion requires much more than good intentions. We all have a role to play.

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I asked Wesley Faulkner and Gilberto Hernandez to give me some feedback about this passage on the Just Work podcast. You can find it here, or listen wherever you like to get your podcasts.