Disambiguate Bias, Prejudice & Bullying
Adapted from Just Work
WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?
Did someone just say something incredibly obnoxious to you? What was that anyway?? Was it bias, prejudice or bullying? What is the difference? Does it matter?
Here are some super short definitions and a simple framework to help keep you oriented in a situation that can be very disorienting.
Bias is “not meaning it.” Think of it like a brain fart. Bias, often called unconscious bias, comes from the part of our mind that jumps to conclusions, usually without our even being aware of it. These conclusions and assumptions aren’t always wrong, but they often are, especially when they reflect stereotypes. We do not have to be the helpless victims of our brains. We can learn to slow down and question our biases.
Prejudice is “meaning it.” It is a consciously held belief. Sometimes we rationalize our biases rather than challenging their flawed assumptions and stereotypes. When that happens, our biases they harden into prejudices.
Bullying is “being mean.” Often this takes the form of intentional, repeated use of in-group status or power to harm or humiliate others. Sometimes bullying comes with prejudice, but often it’s a more instinctive behavior. There may be no belief, conscious or unconscious, behind it. It can be a plan or just an animal instinct to dominate, to coerce.
There’s a lot more to say about bias, prejudice and bullying. But sometimes it’s helpful simply to have some quick definitions so we can disambiguate them.
DIFFERENT PROBLEMS DEMAND DIFFERENT RESPONSES
OK. Maybe those definitions can help you categorize what just happened. But what can you do about it? What can you say?
To root out bias, prejudice, and bullying it’s helpful to respond to each differently.
When you hold up a mirror to people’s biases compassionately, they usually correct them and apologize. Of course sometimes they may get a little defensive. But if it is truly bias, they won't insist on repeating it. They’ll be embarrassed, not unabashed.
Prejudice, however, is a conscious and ingrained belief. People don’t change their prejudices simply because someone points them out. Holding up a mirror doesn’t help—people like what they see. What’s important is to draw a clear boundary between people’s right to believe whatever they want and their freedom to impose their prejudices on others.
Bullying has to incur real consequences to be stopped. If bullies were swayed by being aware of the harm they are doing to the people they are bullying, they wouldn’t be treating other people badly in the first place. Usually they are trying to hurt someone. Pointing out the pain they are inflicting doesn’t make them stop and may even encourage them to double down.
Here’s a summary:
Of course, your degrees of freedom and responsibility to respond to bias, prejudice, and bullying depend on your role. In the next post, I’ll explore some of the different roles we play and what our responsibility is when we are playing that role.
Stay tuned…
